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because i still hide your ashes somewhere in my chest

by Lauren Pearl

as unfair as it may seem,
you did this to yourself-

there were just too many blood cells
& dirty secrets beneath our finger
tips and i was tired of escaping
without you coming after me.

you knew it was a test, my leaving,
but you thought for once that it
would be better to just let me go
'cause god knows i can't do it on
my own anyway.

but in that silence, i did not bite
my tongue over you; and though i
had the weight of ninethousand
words on my shoulders, i could not
think of a single one that would
save us.

so i closed my eyes and inhaled
loudly, hoping to get just a tiny
piece of what i chose to destroy.

well, they told me the worst part would be
the smell of burning flesh, but all i
could think of as i struck the match was,
"burn, baby, burn."

01/22/2005

Author's Note: i didn't know it would hurt like this. because even after the flames, i could faintly hear your voice singing me to sleep.

Posted on 01/23/2005
Copyright © 2022 Lauren Pearl

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Scott Utley on 07/17/10 at 06:22 AM

Dang! Wonderful intent - passion - metering like a race horse coming in first - I LOVE THIS - I have not felt this way for at least two or three hundred years ..... BRAVO! Darlink!

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