It is not easy being a male, growing up and being free
seems we want to be more like a friend than ourselves
same socks, same shoes or those great corduroy jeans
maybe then I would feel part of the boy group

In 5th grade 3 of us, Mark, Mark and me, the 3rd Mark
would walk around coming up with new cuss words
shit damn hell...damn hell...shit ass hell
but they all stopped dead in their tracks when I uttered
gawd fucking dammit
I was shit on the stick that day

Yeah, 3 10 year olds struggling to grow up, finding our rank, our place in the manhood of life

During our bathroom breaks we all bragged about
which one of us had the larger of the penises
or who had the longest of 2 pubic hairs
we were growing up but still scared
yet in this innocence we found we were more alike
it was comforting knowing you were part of a group

Girls, grades and social graces were lost
if our male friends thought we were not being male enough
damn testosterone moved us as cattle
instead of being who we really wanted to be

Occasionally a friend would sleep over on a Fri. or Sat. nite
that was special...hamburgers, hot dogs flamed on a
mother fucking high as the sky fire
roaming the country hills
no adults, just us boys talking about guy things

undressing down to our underwear, and laying on our beds
laughing at the bulges or hair we had seen
brought on by our nervousness
but in awe of how our bodies were changing

we were growing up
we were becoming young men
but still not sure how to use our new manhood

too scared to talk about it
we both sauntered off to sleep

I am sure we both secretly dreamed
if the other one had the manual on what
this new formed manhood was about

you know
we were more alike back then
a part of a bigger group of guys
bigger than we ever realized or grasped

we were young men
in a world made fresh by our changes
and maybe it was then
that life was really alive

08/20/2004

Posted on 01/18/2005
Copyright © 2024 Mark Maxey