I woke from a dream this morning, a dream of Federico Fellini.

“Fed,” I said (‘cause I always called him Fed), “Fed, help me arrange this scene. I want everything in it, everything. Nothing left out, all the pretty, all the beautiful, all the ugly, all that is grotesque. I want it in color. Full life-like color."

"But you know, Fed, I want it in vivid black and white, too. High contrast, bright, real bright. Let’s put in a couple of whores, a hustler or two, a suburban ladies’ bridge club. Got to have Martha, and Gerry, too. He was my first love, so he’s a star, but hell, Fed, they’re all stars, right? Throw in a couple of silicone valley, Beverly Hills em dee overblown overinflated fake tits (attached to a woman, of course) and maybe a dwarf who’s a genius in astrophysics."

"Damn, this is gonna be one hell of a scene, Fed, so I’m counting on you to come up with a couple of ideas, for impact, for sheer visual visceral appeal, so I can show my whole life in this one project and everyone will say “My God, that’s the most incredible photograph/video/life I’ve ever seen at an opening in an unbearably chic gallery”.

“Fed, we’re on to something really big here now, so I guess you get credits for Larger-Than-Any-Fuckin’-Life cinematography and showing me how to show people how wonderful and beautiful they are in a world that’s not sepia at all, but is vibrantly alive. We’ll show them that we’re all freaks yet still gorgeous and mind bogglingly interesting.”

I woke up to the sound of a garbage truck lifting and emptying the dumpster behind my apartment, but tomorrow night I’ll talk Fed into helping me with the dialogue for my opus, which should be very interesting if he wants to do it in Italian with English sub-titles.

01/17/2005

Author's Note: I've no idea where this originated.

Posted on 01/17/2005
Copyright © 2026 Karl Waldbauer