Null Hypothesis by Richard PaezVersion One
Coldest morning in six years.
The outside world is white
glaring under a new sun
seen but barely felt.
The sunshine is just warm enough
to make my old blood run;
just warm enough
to make the days coldness real.
I turn to face the warmth
and my back freezes.
I walk towards the sun.
My shadow stretches
out behind me
six-years-long.
Distorted and tapering,
blind and frozen:
the residue of myself
left behind with each step.
The nothing that is everything.
The remainder the sun wont touch.
My back is frozen
my skin is a scab of ice
my neglected shadow follows.
I walk towards the sun.
There is nothing living out here.
Nothing but the space
where my feet meet my shadow.
Ive been out here for six years
trying to catch up.
Everything is white, glaring.
Enough to make my old blood run.
I turn to face the warmth.
Looking down as I walk
I realize my feet never leave the ground:
they always touch the earth through shadow.
Everything is cold air and gravity.
Everything is heavy with static.
Version Two Cold morning looking back: it's been six years since yesterday.
The outside world is white-glaring under a new sun that's seen but barely felt. The sunshine is just warm enough to make my old blood run; just warm enough to make the cold day real.
I turn to face the warmth. My back freezes.
I walk towards the sun. My shadow stretches out six years long behind me. Distorted and tapering, blind and frozen: the residue of myself left behind with each step. The nothing that is everything. The me the sun wont touch.
My back is frozen. My skin a scab of ice. My neglected shadow follows, felt but out of sight.
I walk towards the sun. Nothing breathes out here. Nothing breathes wide and heavy. Nothing lives out here except the space where my feet meet my shadow.
Ive been out here six years trying to catch up.
Everything is white, glaring. Enough to make my old blood run. I turn to face the warmth and look down at footfalls. My feet never leave the ground: they always touch the earth through shadow.
Everything is cold air and gravity. Everything is heavy with static. 12/11/2004 Posted on 12/11/2004 Copyright © 2024 Richard Paez
Member Comments on this Poem |
Posted by Anne Engelen on 12/11/04 at 07:27 PM My favourite lines most certainly are: "Looking down as I walk I realize me feet never leave the ground: they always touch the earth through shadow." I like the way this confronts me with thoughts that surprise me at this moment. Great read. |
Posted by Ava Blu on 12/12/04 at 01:57 AM Very good. This poem makes me try to figure it out. The meaning behind your lines is not so blatantly obvious. It's one of those poems I must reread.
"the residue of myself
left behind with each step"--this is my favorite line. We do all leave behind a small portion of ourselves with/in everything/everyone.
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Posted by James Cavet on 12/13/04 at 02:54 AM I get these same feelings in the winter. That's why I like this. |
Posted by Tom Goss on 12/14/04 at 05:40 PM Brilliant elucidation of many moments in the cold, with the sun teasing. Glad you were on my favorites list so I could find this one. |
Posted by Christina Bruno on 12/15/04 at 05:15 AM wonderful job, excellent imagery :) |
Posted by Leslie Ann Eisenberg on 01/14/05 at 08:12 PM I just love the first version. better flow, better story telling, maybe because it starts in image... the opening stanzas are amazing, and my fave line: my skin is a scab of ice...yeah, love the spooky gray font, too. |
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