I know I don’t have the right
Or the wisdom
To tell you what love is really like,
And yet I am expected to teach you -
I want to teach you.
Still, my only knowledge of it is flawed,
Full of being human and broken;
Full of hope and faith;
Full to overflowing with joy;
Saturated, at times, in mourning,
Sometimes swept away
In the brush stroke of umber dark and angry;
Rekindled when it seems the coals are lifeless black.
Love is encounter’s' anticipation,
Feeling full when your stomach is growling,
Feeling pretty when the census says otherwise -
The mirror too.
Love is laughing during a hard contraction,
Ripe with you nearly in my arms.
Love is sacrificing what feels good to me
For what might be best for all of us,
Even when what might be doesn’t happen
Just the way I hoped.
I suspect I disappoint you,
That in my care,
You see yourself suffer at times -
My new path
Seems too full of brambles, uphill.
But you don’t see what I see:
The sky at the top and the
Unhindered view of the beautiful valley below.
On the surface
It looks as if I’ve hedged us in with these choices -
I don’t know how to convey to you
That how it looks where you are
Is not always how it is.
Believing in an unseen truth
Can seem a risky process.
Maybe I will wake up one day
With salty regret on my pillow,
Or maybe my faith in the Light of the World
Will help illuminate your path as well.
It is what I hope for
As I place us in His hands,
Praying that the truth of love will someday find you
Once and for all.

12/10/2004

Author's Note: This beautiful child of mine, my 14yr old daughter, surely one of my personal angels, how I love her so! In her own words at the age of 3, "Don't you know why I'm here, Mama?" (Me shaking my head, her patting my face) "Well. I'm here to make sure you're gonna be O.K." She struggles with my recent love for God, and the subtle ways this is changing how I live and parent. She is a most fragrant flower in my world.

Posted on 12/10/2004
Copyright © 2024 Alison McKenzie