I’m sitting here considering:
Aren’t farts a funny thing?
Let one through the muscled ring--
Listen to your sphincter sing!

Hear it whisper, hear it wheeze,
Listen to the song’s reprise.
You’ll find it sings with increasing ease,
Releasing pressure bound to please.

From its source, within the crack,
Hear the mighty thunderclap.
Feel vibrations up your back
As together buttocks slap.

Let one rip as loud as day,
Then repeat without delay.
Be not repulsed by what I say--
Instead, I urge, get underway!

Hear the call and hear the roar
Send the trumpets through the floor--
The downstairs neighbors won’t ignore
Your call to start a farting war.

And when your challenge is received,
A battle cry you will perceive.
From down below, your goal achieved,
Your neighbor starts to push and heave.

The war is on--the building rings
With whiney squeaks and thundering.
What relief the warring brings,
And everybody’s sphincters sing!

12/02/2004

Author's Note: Feedback please--should it be longer/shorter? Are the rhymes too predictable and corny? Do you feel the rhythm when you read it? It doesn't feel like it *ends* to me--comments?

Posted on 12/03/2004
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