I see you standing there
with your head down low
your hands pounding against your chest
all this rage radiating around you
thousands of people there
no one seeing what I see without even looking
no one feeling what I always feel without even knowing
hideous pain flowing all within
the eyes shine through your mask
the smile they see is fake
the happy and perfect little girl running about
the scared and lying devil cowering inside
I see you underneath all those layers
your tiny hands holding up your heart
waiting for someone to breathe life into you
screaming to anyone who will listen


"SAVE ME!!!"

but no one hears
so close to dying
people keep moving around ignoring you
your cries are not for help
they are ways of escaping the disease building inside
I know so well your desperation
I remember too clearly the pain
it was all so different before
escaping the pain was as easy as bringing it on yourself
you tell yourself you can handle it
as you swallow 200 pills
you're so careful to not let anyone find out
you end up forgetting just who you are
all you can remember is who they say you are
I see the tears and fears you try to hold back
I see you fighting to hold on
yet dying more with every breath
I know you all too well.

03/09/1999

Posted on 12/02/2004
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