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How to Get Over Your Husband

by Lisa Marie Brodsky

Begin with an orange.
Give it teeth and a top hat.
Bring it to work and set it on your desk.
Say it’s your uncle –
Uncle Orange –
who won the California State Lottery,
put your kids through college,
and took you on a cruise to Barcelona.
They will be jealous, these people,
they will wish they had an Uncle Orange
as great as yours.
They will prop apples and pears on their computers
and dress them in petticoats or tuxedos,
calling them Gramma Smith or Marjorie…
maybe Angus,
but it won’t be the same.
They’ll even try pineapples –
dressing the tall, leafy stalks with garland
and their finest pearl necklaces.
But it still won’t compare
to your darling Uncle Orange
and the scent he permeates throughout the room.
He even smells good after a game of rugby
unlike your husband.
Yes, they will be quite jealous of the smile
you come in with every morning.
Even after your husband leaves
you will still smile,
clutching a one-way ticket to Barcelona,
feeling citrus-good and drunk
on fuzzy navels.


Posted on 11/25/2004
Copyright © 2022 Lisa Marie Brodsky

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