Harper MacCandless by Melina Raven Maness DieboldI dared to dream you
to create, to gleam you
from the love I thought we had between us
Alas, you're merely a wish
A wish so faintly conceived
and faintly held
Uterine tendrils could only hold so fast
when confronted
tainted, deceived
By the Adversary and his plaintiff puppet
Who at the atom's eye
brought half of you to me
Their tandem prayers
blaspemies unto the Lord
Unholy diatribes and pleadings for death, revile
And me I sat
with fingers crossed and palms kissing
holy hopes against unholy loathes
For you to live through me
So that nine months later
I could hold you, and you alone
safely in my arms
Alas it was not meant to be
my Sweet
my first-conceived
I felt you once and I felt you the last
I watched you ebb away
But in my heart
where you were first conceived
is where in peaceful rest your soul will
forever and without ending stay
11/24/2004 Author's Note: I had a miscarriage and found balm in penning this. Joel left me as I miscarried. We were currently using herbs and other aids to conceive, proof as to how sudden this came upon me. He, to this day, has said nothing to me off my miscarriage. Not even concern that I needed to see a doctor. He made no semblance of emotion when I told him its name either. Harper MacCandless...I feel it's sufficiently unisex. Harps make me think of angels and that's what my baby is now, and MacCandless is a family surname I find whimsically melodious, so I feel the name is perfect.
Posted on 11/24/2004 Copyright © 2025 Melina Raven Maness Diebold
Member Comments on this Poem |
Posted by Shonda Chrissonberry on 01/21/05 at 12:26 AM Thank you Melina for sharing this with me. I had a miscarriage 8 1/2 years ago at 9 weeks into the pregnancy. I will never forget that day as long as I live and I will never forget my first-conceived either. God bless you. ~ Shonda |
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