I don’t believe in magic
though if you go looking inside
when I’m not paying much attention
you’ll get mostly fantasy

I guess you can figure this much
with the infinite versions of myself
hand-crafted and polished
for just the right occasion

I just want to impress you

So how much of this will it take
to feel settled here
(hand held over the chest)

5 years, 3 months, 1 night?

What percentage of you
is not just another layer of what I think I need -
what I dreamt up?

I am getting restless for something real

(a door closes in the background)
there goes another one…

People are getting smaller
in the sense that I am getting older

I don’t feel so invincible anymore

All the themes are finding their places accordingly
and I stand awkwardly in the middle

I hear the little voice in my head say
“Huh, I guess that makes sense”

Not knowing what direction to take
The darkness can seem endless

But we all have to find ourselves in it
And ask
“Where do I get the life from”

Its like that name you just couldn’t remember
and the cycles of sleep
eventually found it

The perfect question
waiting for the right moment

When all your manipulations have failed you
and your choices have gone for the worst

If you let go and stop trying so hard
It might surprise you
what you already have welling within

And its enough
~

10/23/2004

Author's Note: This probably belongs more in my journal than in here... but its saying "hi" anyhow.

Posted on 10/23/2004
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