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the story of my life, chapt. 1

by Carl Walker

The story of my life chapter one


My parents were C & E Christians, (Christmas and Easter)  they went to an Episcopal Church in Salem, VA just outside Roanoke.   we always had blessings before meals but it was a meaningless exercise for me.  I found the whole church scene real empty and rejected it and christianity and the concept of god and the relevance of most of my parents values.  However, I did come to believe in raising hell.  My teenage recreation mostly involved camping and drinking, swimming on the river and drinking, drinking on friday nights and sat afternoon.  I guess you could say I did a lot of drinking. 


I volunteerd for the draft (one of my dummer choices) and entered the army in Nov of 67.  I got out Sept 7, 1970 commited to the notion of not repeating anything like that again.  I had fought the war and returned with some medals, a broken heart, and real distorted emotions.


I had a thirst and a burden to combat the pain of the world. I became political, joined Viet Nam Veterans Against the War (John Kerry was co-founder but I didn't know anything about that) marched, smoked pot, grew long (LOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGG) hair and a beard, got arrested, and voted.  One day I was with others handing out leaflets and I discovered the paper was stolen the leaflets were printed on ( a light came on in my head).  I realized the politicos that were my friends were just as manipulitive and deceptive as those we opposed, just in different ways.


I walked away from politics (but still voted).  I came to feel that the only real change for the world could only come from a change in hearts --starting with me. you know,  the L  O  V  EEEEEEEE thing.


I had rejected xtianity but began to think there might be a god and went looking.  I wanted the source material not the testimony of someone who may or may not really believe in whatever religion I was examining.  I got the Quran (a translation of) at the library at the Univ. of GA where I matriculated on the GI bill.  I didn't feel this was a witness of the God I was looking for because I found no help to overcome this darkness in my own heart and no help (that I could see) to overcome the darkness in the world.  Now remember this is my own story, you can examine a translation of the Quran for yourself and and decide for yourself and more power to you.


Chapter two will be more about my search for God


Posted on 09/06/2004
Copyright © 2021 Carl Walker

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 10/15/04 at 02:04 AM

Glad I found this. A story beginning all too familiar for that time period I am afraid. Looking forward to chapter 2.

Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 02/26/05 at 04:36 PM

i love the candidness and honesty in this piece... i look forward to sharing your continued journey in part 2... blessings...

Posted by Jane E Pearce on 03/26/08 at 09:00 PM

Carl- where have you been hiding??? It is rare to find a rational seeker. I find a God that is not so cruel as to put his children's souls in Eternal perdition. He is not the vengant God that is so portrayed by more fundamental Christians. Churches get members many times by bribery-"join us- and you will go to Heaven." They are so self righteous. God smiles once in a while and understands our hearts that seek him. The secret word is-LOVE.

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