finding truth
by Carl WalkerFinding truth
It seemed so hard
Because it seemed
I was the one who had the important part of it
I tried explaining
They dont listen
No,
They cant hear
And dont know they are deaf
What a wall I encountered
It seemed so obvious to me
I know I have a part of the truth
And no one would receive it
The tension within me rose
And I shouted even louder
Ive got it, Ive got it, listen to me
and none could hear me
a voice from the ether
whispering, pleading, almost unheard
Do you have all the truth?,
no, I whined, but I have the important part
parts, I quickly corrected myself, I have the important parts,
I asserted to myself
I silently nursed my wounded ego,
I have the parts, the important parts,
the pretty, pretty parts.
It was like a mantra in my brain
foolish others, why wont they listen,
I have the pretty parts,
The pretty, pretty parts.
And no one could hear my song
An unframed question
Formed itself in the void,
How will you complete the truth you dont have?
I will comfort myself with what I have,
I wont trouble myself with the other parts
The insignificant, the unnecessary, the unpretty.
I have the pretty parts,
The pretty, pretty parts
My heart was angry
My heart was sad
Cant you see the beauty
I moaned, I groaned
I felt broken with desire
Why cant they see it?
Why WONT they see it?
A promise and a threat
Speaking from the evil darkness
If you listen to me I can tell you how they will hear you,
and hear you gladly.
All, I asked, will they all hear me?
only a few, a very, very few,
echoed in the darkness,
but the few will feed your soul
and give you peace,
peace and joy
how, my broken heart pleaded
Love the people more than you love the truth you think youve found
love them when they wont hear
love them when they hate you
serve them when they wont appreciate it
I cussed,
Id have to die for them, I spat
OK, then, the voice intoned,
Ill give you an example to follow
and Ill put my spirit within you to enable you
to love them with my love.
and then He died
and gave all who would receive
His undivided spirit
I discoved I could not love them
more than the truth I thought Id found
I want to put more faith in the truth Ive found
Than in love
I want to love my truth
More than people
Certainly more than in listening
Certainly more than giving others a feeling of being listened to
And so
I lock the door of my soul
And truth
(the real parts, the real, real parts)
can not come in
(the parts that give peace and life and joy)
can not intrude
the only way Ill ever be delivered
is through intercession
of one who will die for me
you who have truth,
will you die for me
will you love me
more than your truth
will you sacrifice your speaking
to hear me
even when I will not hear you
will you try?09/03/2004