by Laura Doom

Fluffy white skies scurry
across the clear blue cloud
dusk's incandescent horizon climbs
above the hazy distant sun.

Shifting ground propels my verdant feet
beyond the threshold of belief
a passage passed, a door opened,
the room closing; envelopment
and I am set in motion
vision sucked into my eyes
your characters imposing meaning
on my malleable mind
pretending an impression.

I wish...I will!
Intention itches, screaming to be scratched
before the surface seals itself from truth
and rationale restores disorder.

Evening's machinery grinds into life
yawning vague acknowledgement
of undelivered miracles and wonders


Posted on 08/21/2004
Copyright © 2020 Laura Doom

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Rachelle Howe on 08/23/04 at 08:02 AM

why indeed.

Posted by Rula Shin on 09/02/04 at 08:02 PM

Reading this I found myself upside down and backwards, imploding with gentle ease as your imagery toppled my ‘rational’ senses, “fluffy white skies…clear blue cloud” – a clever opening to this puzzle ‘intestate’. Yet here it lies secured by the eyes of your reader, alive and well! Ha! Makes me think of the irony of so called failures when never was an intentional attempt made. This piece evoked a 'sense' in me, undefinable, like poetry digested…one whole swallowed intentionally to form the pieces, planned disintegration leading to the true will. Missed opportunities fare well compared to missed ‘dead’lines, knowing only then that “I wish…I will!” is not enough to deliver any miracle to its appropriate destination, not when evening employs and pays well its “machinery” to “grind…into life yawning vague acknowledgement” – I feel this piece of yours is quite meaningful, symbolic, a plea for answers, a sarcastic smile, revenge splattered sweetly upon a white page. I don’t know what your thoughts were behind this but only know what I FELT and SAW when I read it…and here I wrote it for better or worse. Actually, I’m quite impressed with the unending queries and statements this poem pulled from my mind. This is not just any ‘mess’, it’s an intentional one and as such I like it immensely. Great job Laura :-)

Return to the Previous Page

pathetic.org Version 7.3.2 May 2004 Terms and Conditions of Use 0 member(s) and 2 visitor(s) online
All works Copyright © 2020 their respective authors. Page Generated In 0 Second(s)