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Thanks For the Worthless Words

by Trisha De Gracia

I feel fragile
delicate
beautiful
tragic.

I feel as if my heart is shaking.
There are lies I'd rather not reply to-
lies that sent my ears
ablaze.

I fear your truth is feeble as I feel.
Forget the old and tired.
What of all those words you said
and shards of English you so deftly used
to scrape my skull?

My stomach's roiling.
You've made breathing faint
and I am hanging here
just by a wire
wishing you would cut me down
or cut me off.

(But what am I?
and Who am I to you
if you don't love me
like I say I do?)

Why do I feel porous?
Obsolete.

I realize.
I re-a-lize.
That you said words that made me feel
these phantom imitations of emotions
I already had,
and made me somehow miss
the way you hugged me
right before you left.

But I don't miss you now.
I don't miss anybody.
I don't wish that you could see me.
I don't wish that you could dream up
maybes for the future.

All your false little syllables do
is pin me to the wall
until I slack and droop
and hit concrete reality again.

But it's so bittersweet.

08/13/2004

Author's Note: (This is the only part of the poem that written for my one and only. These brackets hold the only part that ever apply to you.) I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME! I believed you and I don't know what it did to me but it's not there anymore. I feel like I missed a step on the stairs. I feel like you cheated me. To think I missed any of you makes me feel disgusting. This is for you (not for you. I love you.).

Posted on 08/13/2004
Copyright © 2024 Trisha De Gracia

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by J. P. Davies on 08/13/04 at 11:54 PM

Great emotion in this. On little thing wrong "You're" in the last stanza.

Posted by Traci Mabats on 08/14/04 at 02:35 AM

wow, that personal note at the end should almost be part of the poem. It is bittersweet in the best of ways. Poetically that is.

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