Standing in the shadow of a great oak
the wind whispering through the branches
As I waited, the wind kissed my tear-streaked face
My eyes were swollen from the tears that fell
uncontrollably just minutes before.

I waited for an answer
I needed something- anything
I closed my eyes as the breeze blew through my hair

"Hello, my dear"

He was here.
I opened my eyes and
there he stood before me:

His eyes were soft and tender
yet they sparkled in the light of the moon.
His shirt sleeves were rolled up
just enough to appear relaxed
And I smiled as he stepped towards me
He was wearing his flip-flops

His carpenter's hand gently brushed my cheek,
"You've been crying"
He stepped into me, wrapping his arms around me
I could feel his heart beating,
so tight was his embrace

And ever so slowly, he began to sway
He kept perfect time as he lead me in a dance
Never releasing his embrace
Under the moon's brilliant light
We danced for no measurably amount of time

"I want..."
I stopped short as tears began to fall
I buried my face in his chest, ashamed of the pain.

His movement never ceased
we kept perfect time to a silent beat

He held me close,
"I know what it is that you want.
I know the desires weighing heavily on your mind.
I've held every tear you've shed over this.
My darling, I know.

There is no need to hide from me
the very thing I created and birthed into you
Why are you ashamed?

I formed you in your mother's womb
Before you were ever a spark in your parents' eyes
I knew you
Long before the earth came to be
I knew you:
every dream
every pain
every want
every mistake"

I sobbed into his shirt...
The mistakes.. so many mistakes
Was the unbearable pain in my heart punishment for my sins?
Were the circumstances surrounding me now because of previous mistakes?
When will the punishment cease?

He kissed my forehead
and ran his fingers through my hair,
"Your mistakes have already been paid for.
Don't listen to those thoughts that deceive you.
This is not about punishment-
It is about timing...

My timing.
The pain is a passing emotion.
Keep in my timing and all will show itself
When it is time"

As we moved in the moonlight
he held me
absorbing my tears as they fell
and he whispered,
"everything is going to be alright"

07/29/2004