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Dueling Hillbillies
by Graeme Fielden
By Wendy Sparling & Graeme Fielden
C'mon here Pa chew da fat with me
Not now Ma I'm busy, can't you see?
Cow's can't wait 'n' da chickens need feed!
You can feed 'em dear! I'm needin beer!
Da beer can wait! It's the steer I fear!
No fear of steer while drinkin beer!
Better get off your arse! I'm gettin' cross!
Bah! Getting cross? I'm still the boss!
You fix Pa vittles! And bring ‘em soon!
No vittles for you I'm gonna get my broom!
Pa! Get off my porch!
Stop hittin me! Ouch!
Dog-dang you Pa!
Doh! Curse you Ma!
I'll drink all da beer and then you'll see!
How sweet and lovey Ma can be!
Take more then beer to make me see
Ole wrinkly Ma as sweet, lovely!
Ya silly ole goat can't you see?
I'm da prettiest gal in Tennesee!
(chorus)
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Ma stop now wigglin yer behind
It blocks my sun yer so unkind!
Your blind as a bat you silly ole fool
Can't you see I'm fetchin the mule!
Dat mule is fat flea bit too
Yo der Ma it reminds me of you!
You ride him more den you ride me too!
So i'm tradin him off for a pail of glue!
Oh Ma! stop dat chewin at my ear?
Yer drive me mad! Now where's dat beer?
There ain't no more!
Dang! No more beer?
I fed it to the steer!
Do Dang dat steer!
A steak's no rights to drink dat beer!
Dat steer is gettin so tender my sweet!
He's drinkin' yer beer 'n' eatin' whole wheat!
He's eatin wheat & drinkin beer?
I'm kinda jealous of dat fat old steer!
Pucker those lips Pa! here's yer beer!
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(chorus)
Yer go way too far
Yer my sweetness Pa!
Yer my sweetness Ma!
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