feather : you {somehow still alive} by Richard Paezfeather : you i found beside the street one day as if by gods design-- you : beautiful, forsaken, forgotten thing you : a bit of heaven mine
feather : you i kept in my pocket feather : you i kept closest to my heart on lonely days, in times of hurt to pull you out and feel your touch
isnt it amazing how much love and life can be found in one moment? incredible how many faces pass us by like heartbeats
feather : you i kept for the wings i never had
born the apple of your parents eyes you fall, you roll away you know youll never see that tree again so you hand the apple to your favorite teacher let your first love cut you to the core-- as that first kiss tears into you like teeth into your flesh
in time youll heal pick yourself up
in time youll kneel with bare hands dig plant whats left in hope hoping you chose the best spot for big, strong branches-- for a shade on summer days like a lovers arms around you
pray for rain pray for the skies to open up again--
pray for rain that the gods take pity on you now realize your mistake that this was somehow all in vain-- youve reached twenty-five and are somehow still alive
feather : you i found beside the street one day as if by gods design-- you : beautiful, forsaken, forgotten thing you : a bit of heaven mine
feather : you i found riding the wind one day a remainder divine-- you : beautiful, forsaken, forgotten thing you : a bit of heaven mine
feather : you i kept in my pocket feather : you i kept closest to my heart on lonely days, in times of hurt to pull you out and feel your touch
feather : you i kept in my pocket feather : you i kept clenched in my palm till a new wind came, stronger than i to teach me how youd fly again
isnt it amazing how much love and life can be found in one moment? incredible how many faces pass us by like heartbeats
isnt it amazing how one moment can change everything? incredible how one breeze stole you away from me
feather : you i kept for the wings i never had
born the apple of my parents eyes i fell, i rolled away i know ill never see that tree again so i handed the apple to my favorite teacher and let your love cut me to the core-- as your first kiss tore into me like teeth into my flesh
but i can still see you despite my tears
but i can still see you hanging from your branch so red and fresh i will not pull you down, no ill wait here as long as it takes for you to fall to me
ill be praying praying for the skies to open up again--
ill pray for rain that the gods take pity on me now realize my mistake that this was somehow all in vain-- ive reached twenty-five without you and am somehow still alive
ive been so long without you yet im somehow still alive 06/15/2004 Author's Note: Two poems in one, done a little differently than I usually do it. The apple and feather images are trite, that is true, but there's not much I can do about that--and regardless, I like what I have done with them. Any suggestions, criticisms, or thoughts are highly appreciated. Thank you. |m|
Posted on 06/15/2004 Copyright © 2024 Richard Paez
Member Comments on this Poem |
Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 06/16/04 at 06:48 AM there is no criticism on this planet that could alter this heart-wrenching piece... tears have welled up in the eyes of this one absorbing this more than brilliant piece... my chest hurt reading this and i felt as if i was falling, softly, yet swiftly, at the same time... the style, in fact, lends major emphasis to the subject matter... the punctuation and words usage superb and intense... having read many of your other poems of this subject matter, i felt immersed in it's raw and true emotion... this is a masterpiece, richard, in my opinion... blessings... |
Posted by Richard D Frederick on 06/18/04 at 04:53 PM repetition is rarely used skillfully, and i'm glad you didn't fall into the norm. it made the poem, it drove in the emotions harder and harder each time. lovely. |
Posted by Teri T Lahmon on 06/22/04 at 03:17 PM I agree it is very trite. However, for me at least, triteness (and sometimes cliche) is not always a negative thing. Especially in this piece. If something becomes "trite" because it has lost its power to evoke from being worn and overused we should look at the cause for this wear and tear. Why would we turn so many times to a specific image or metaphor, what does it mean or reflect, and does it reflect it more keenly, more clearly and definately than other images and metaphors? Okay I'm rambling. Let me hone straight in on the point. This piece speaks to me of the process of triteness. Of becoming worn and faded of losing voice and the power to evoke because one is being used and turned to repeatedly, (it's all tied up in the feather and "the born the apple of your parents eye" for me, perhaps I'm projecting my own meaning, but ~shrug~ everyone does, it's part of the process of art). However part of the beauty and paradox of the piece (of said triteness) is that the speaker still sees in these overused images the original attraction, the original truth, the original inspiration and in the simple gesture of picking up the feather and pocketing it reinvests it with its power to evoke. So in the end, it's trite but not. Paradox is good. Thanks for sharing. ~T |
Posted by Beth K Hannah on 06/25/04 at 12:33 AM oh, this was so wonderful...it made me sigh with sadness but smile with hope. |
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