she breaks hands instead of hearts; and he undeniably likes the pain

it was earth-shattering
in the way i could not
sleep for weeks;
my eyes turned red
and drooped lower
with each sunrise
(two weeks ago i could lift
my eyes to meet the
new day, now i dread it
with tired ambivalence)

i'm too fatigued for this
constant dance to
a drum beat i could never
keep up with to begin with

(i drowned once in
my ignorance;

twice in
self-denial;

and four hundred times
over spilled words
and broken promises)

and as far as lovers go
i will tear out my hair
to prove we never
even existed

06/09/2004

Author's Note: writers block.

Posted on 06/10/2004
Copyright © 2026 Lauren Pearl