it wouldn't matter after tonight.
i was walking and thought,
"if this is it, i will be okay"

after fourteen hundred some odd years
of trying to prove my existance
i am left with a flimsy 17 years of confusion

17 years of screaming and
strangling in the shower,
trying to choke out that i was more

but we never are, though
today there's a knife in my back
and a trigger to my temple

and despite every goddamn drop of blood
there is still my head heavy on your shoulder
and the memory of warm skin in naked hands

05/14/2004

Posted on 05/15/2004
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