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the way we murder things around here
by Olivia Weinkeinhe begs me to yield to him
with just his eyes.
he doesn't know that everything
will spoil in the morning.
i play with him because it's
better than playing with time
and when he questions me, i think
baby you don't know the half of
it.
and he holds me like a secret
while i pray for just one good prayer
to say to make this madness go away
but god must be a sadist because here
i am on my knees again for all the
wrong reasons.
05/13/2004 Author's Note: oh subject matter, subject matter. blahhhh
Posted on 05/14/2004
Copyright © 2024 Olivia Weinkein
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Michelle Angelini on 05/14/04 at 03:59 AM I like this poem, yet by changing some of the line endings it might be stronger. (Just suggestions) first stnaza -Lines 5-6 - bring better up to line 5. 2nd stanza, same lines - bring the down to line 6. When I write my poetry, I'm a nitpick on line endings, since the words at the end of the line carry more weight than at the beginning. And maybe I'm a sadist, because I keep writing this stuff. ;-) Good work! |
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