You take my hands
I lift my head to meet your gaze
Our piercing eyes lock
In a timeless moment
There is such deep sadness
Mingling with the knowledge
That what we dreamed can, now, never be.

I’m so sorry that I tried, so hard,
I had no right
To Hope you into someone
You are not
I’m so sorry that I imagined
Something different
Than what you offered
It wasn’t you, I want to tell you
It was me who dreamed the impossible
It’s my fault.
My lips want to form the words
But they only tremble instead.
I close my eyes
But the tears that are formed
Slide past them anyway.

Your head inclines toward me
Lips kissing into the salty regret
Your hands release me
But only to gently wipe away the tears
And to pull me closer,
To comfort me with loving arms
To savor the undenduring repose
Of the bittersweet present
I open my eyes to discover
That pools have formed in your eyes, too.

This moment is slipping past us
Despite our best intentions
Despite the investment of the years
Despite our love for our children
Despite the hope of our families
I turn my head to rest on your shoulders
Lingering in our tranquil place
One last time.

Just beyond us,
I notice the window sliding quietly down -
The one that let in the sound of the morning birds,
Our children playing in the yard,
The sunshine,
The coolest breeze in the scorching summer.
The window closes with a soft and final thump
And the breeze is gone
The world outside and in
Silenced in separation.

I back away
The spell is broken
The magic stale
It’s time to go
And I'm gone
I can’t breathe
Inside my head
The raging plea is screaming
But you can’t hear it
Deaf in your walking somnolence

05/04/2004

Posted on 05/04/2004
Copyright © 2025 Alison McKenzie