i called him once
having been drinking
to assure him that i had not
forgotten about him and i acted
as though it would still matter
when in reality,
it very much didn't.

sometimes its hard to get around
these things, to forget or to even
pretend. and as you can see,

i'm not very good at it but i guess
this makes me softer than many
i guess this teaches me humility.

but i wish that i was a careful person, all
these steps i take have a way of circling
back to me.

i wish that i had not fallen victim to the
dreadfullness of drunken dialing.

i wish that i had lost his number for good
that last time that i swore to him i would
because it's almost midnight and i've already
had a 12-pack.

his name is on my lips. his number,
in my hand.

04/27/2004

Author's Note: ughh i don't do this anymore, and find it almost amusing that i ever did. almost.. these days, i drink in peace.

Posted on 04/28/2004
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