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mama {heal me still}

by Richard Paez

 "mother,
should i trust the government?"

mama,
can i go home?

i’m getting older—
remembering more
your smiles than your frowns

but i’ll never forget
your spinning fury
light through your hair
sparks in thunderclouds
raining down your back
flooding me—
such sweet smothering

{your bare feet on new grass
your neck cascades
your small hands
your eyes
cut me—
heal me still}

mama,
can i sleep now?

i’m getting tired—
remembering more
mornings than evenings

and i’ll never forget
your mercury voice
river in the dark
flowing down my spine
flooding me—
such sweet surrendering

{your fingers in my hair
your lips exhale
your strong arms
your touch
cuts me—
heals me still}

mama,
can i dream now?

do you remember me
like i remember you?

03/26/2004

Author's Note: I wasnt going to append this with an authors note--I barely posted the poem itself, and when I did I tucked it away in {embryonic} immediately instead of letting it sit in my main library for a while like I usually do with new posts. I wrote this in about ten minutes, and barely edited it. It felt to me at the time a lyrical hiccup--the leftovers of {stop} and {these glances}, again brewed up while listening to DMB, this time staring up at the Pink Floyd Berlin Wall poster I have over my desk. I wanted to write a character sketch, really describe a singular moment in the front yard, Miami summertime, memories like photographs. This is short, my little version of Nobody Home from The Wall, but without the context that really made that song so powerful. But its a start. The comments Ive received so far have made me look at it very differently. It still needs--something--some length, some context. And as a lyric it really needs some form of chorus. But its something very new for me, a style I havent played with before. Since meeting Deran, who is an incredible musician (and especially with the DMB kick Ive been on), Ive been much more oriented towards writing song lyrics than my traditional poems. Who knows. Its something I will not allow myself to ignore.

Posted on 03/26/2004
Copyright © 2020 Richard Paez

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 03/27/04 at 01:32 AM

this digs real deep... and i mean really deep... the spark of life that keeps us going, often comes from that resilient part of us that can forget the bad... but, we never really forget the bad, do we?... but, we do grow and blossom and survive... you are surviving and learning from this pain... this poem is laced with the child-like want for acceptance mixed the harsh reality of what really is... this poem just made me cry... brilliance in words... couldn't say it any other way... i hope you find your music... blessings...

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