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but honey, you're so enticing when you're drunk
by Lauren Pearli'm tearing down my walls tonight,
and tomorrow again and the next night
i will repeat and repeat and repeat
until nothing is left to remind
me of you. i took the liberty of
burning the pictures of your smiling faces
and our lipslocked in some senseless act
of love (we were lovers once, right?)
twice, actually, if you count the first
time when we were drunk and i thought
your name was sammy and you thought i
looked beautiful when it came right down to it.
and now i am tearing down my walls and
slashing scars into my downfeather pillows
and repeating the words like witchcraft
like some spell has been cast over my body
and I am tormented by your words and your
scent and your smile and those goddamn green
eyes that seem to shine at me from every
empty shot glass when one more would get
me just right. but I was never just right and
I was always just as empty even when my
stomach felt warm and bubbly and my heart
felt so big I swore it would simply explode
and I loved you in a way I never expected
and you left puncture wounds where you
should have left stitches
and I forgave you.
and I meant it.
but tonight I am trashing these memories
into that dolphin blue spew across my walls
and I am tearing down your pictures and
removing your smell from my bed sheets
and convincing myself that if only I could
let your eyes leave my head (and somehow
reach deep enough to remove your hand
from my heart) I could manage to re-write
your words into something I could work with. 03/25/2004 Author's Note: he always worded his poems in code but to me it all looked beautiful. he doesn't write anymore and i don't think he ever will again.
Posted on 03/26/2004
Copyright © 2024 Lauren Pearl
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Ashok Sharda on 03/29/04 at 11:29 AM Yes, one ought to WIN all the associations since they never die. Not even in the dreams. The battle is so distinct. |
| Posted by Wendy Geal on 07/09/04 at 04:58 AM wow, wow... this is an awesome piece. it flows perfectly from beginning to end. this one is definately going in my favorites. |
| Posted by Jolie Jordan on 12/13/04 at 04:18 AM I remember reading this, and I can't for the life of me figure out why I never commented. (perhaps I wasn't logged in..) anyway, I just wanted to let you know how it feels to read this, to relate to it, and to know what you're saying here. especially when you said ( I was never just right and I was always just as empty even when my stomach felt warm and bubbly and my heart felt so big I swore it would simply explode and I loved you in a way I never expected and you left puncture wounds where you should have left stitches and I forgave you. and I meant it. )
wow. just.. wow. |
| Posted by Felicia Aguilar on 08/13/05 at 07:37 PM So much in this that I can relate to, you have no idea. This is definitely going in the favorites. |
| Posted by Lauren Singer on 10/30/05 at 08:05 PM i love this entire thing. the title, the poem, and the author's note. and having been there, having lived this, i can relate so profoundly. moving and remarkable. |
| Posted by Anya Kaats on 12/07/06 at 04:47 AM this is so moving. |
| Posted by Meghan Helmich on 06/09/08 at 08:47 PM i've always wanted a way to wipe the memory. like 'eternal sunshine..'
sounds like you had the right idea. |
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