The night before this-
I carried arms and tiny bones
fingertips and limbs

[and You ran your hands over my stomach
letting your fingers fall
one after the other
into the scar that remained in the center of my body
the reminder that I too,
was once but arms and tiny bones,
fingertips and limbs]

I recall not wanting to feel the kicking of small feet-
sitting across from you at a yellowing restaurant table,
starring sullenly into the bottom of my timeworn cup
trying to find words that wouldn't make you run
and trying oh so hard
to ignore your constant glance in my general direction

Flash forward-
I find myself swallowed up by water,
the only thing not consumed, being my abdomen
and me, thinking;
"this couldn't be right at all.."

the night before this-
I sunk deep,
and I can't remember if it was warm at all,
but I know that where she slept, folded in water too-
she was.

I carry bones and tiny limbs,
arms and fingertips
and I feel the soft of her breath on my insides
lulling me to calm.

03/23/2004

Author's Note: I had a dream a few nights ago that I was sitting in a restaurant-type place, attempting to tell my boyfriend that I was pregnant. then, as dreams often do, I suddenly warped into another part of the dream where I was laying horizontal in dark blue water, underneath it, yet my stomach was sticking out. and I know that 'it' was a She. odd.

Posted on 03/23/2004
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