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The Fishing Boat Widow, December [revised]
by Bruce W Niedt
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This is the first winter without him.
In September,
when the boats came back,
they sent Finlay, watch cap in hand,
gazing down at my doorstep,
mumbling the news:
thirty miles out,
as they chased a school of cod,
a random wave threw him
over the gunwale and under the keel.
Coast Guard cutters criss-crossed the site
for days. No one found a trace.
Water is an evil accepted;
by drops it rolls off the eaves,
over the bent light of clear ice,
freezing with all promises.
Icicles hang long, with impossible points,
like daggers around my house,
or the teeth of a deep-sea fish
that may have watched him
loll toward a fathomed underworld.
Now the house is cold as a box,
echoing with what is no longer said.
I set no places at the table any more;
I eat silently where I may,
while the waves still churn,
half a mile away.
03/19/2004 Author's Note: [First published in U.S. 1 Worksheets, No. 50, 2005.]
Posted on 03/19/2004
Copyright © 2026 Bruce W Niedt
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Kara Hayostek on 03/20/04 at 12:38 AM I like this version better, the stanzas follow each other better. I also like the "random wave" better than "freak wave" The last stanza of the poem is chilling. The waves churn with mystery. |
| Posted by Maureen Glaude on 03/20/04 at 12:39 AM For the most part I like this version better, (though I really admired the first and had remembered it) but in the first one I liked the gazing down part that was removed in second stanza. I could just see that, showing me bad news was coming. An image I remember. A suggestion, though, is to move up the gazing line to be the last line of the first stanza,to separate the "hims" for clarity with the stanza break. and start the new stanza with "Thirty miles out". I think it's such an effective start to a line, it would warrant starting the stanza too. The removal of the number of days works well, though the three hadn't bothered me. I think everything else in this new version is effective in the poem's progression. Superb work |
| Posted by Rachelle Howe on 07/21/11 at 11:21 PM This is poetry. Much better than the confessional rut I am in :). I like the revision. I think I remember the original posting, unless it just rings familiar. I dig. Churn, baby, churn. |
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