There.
Close.
Two
arms around me and
two
around him.
The smell
of laundrysoap
soft and adoring and comforting
holding and telling him:

"Please don't be sad
it's ok
you'll be happy I promise
just smile
it's ok
you'll be fine."

Then slide
that slide
the slide of a cheek
on a cheek
and a rush of the new
and the physical warmth uncontrollable
slide
slide

STOP!
this can't happen-
just wait! This can't happen!
All wrong
it's all wrong
those wrong hands and wrong face and wrong
eyes
those
eyes were all wrong because
I saw the colour so easily
green
not the the grey sometimes blue sometimes teal
they were green.
And the breath!
God the breath was too
shallow and shakey and
couldn't match mine and
dear God it was wrong from the start...
All that warmth just turned cold in me
froze in my veins
in my lips
in my arms that were wrapped in platonic support.
It was wrong.

"Go home."
"I'm sorry."

I nodded.

"Go home."

03/15/2004

Author's Note: ...swim against the tide for drier land. I love you -xoxo

Posted on 03/16/2004
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