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The bomb in the hippies shoes.

by Aaron Howard

It’s been a long day….I’m on a layover at Oakland on a flight to Virginia beach… I got a vial in my pocket.. I’m out like a light…

Hazy dream sequence.. lost even.. pitter patter of feet in the darkness.. bullhorn reality sneaking away lightly…

I’m awoken hard.. shook to the jerk point.. I jump 3 feet… three army men, dressed in full gear.. staring hard..
Hard.

They are saying stuff, but my brain is still catching up from the sleepy haze.. I just say, Yeah man, yeah.. I got a ticket..

They are like, Good.. come with us… You have some ID? And I’m like yeah, in my bag..

I follow them to a room, where they ask me to empty my bag.. So I empty it.. nothing out of the ordinary… then they ask me to remove my shoes..

Since I’d lost most of my clothes to a washing machine thief.. I had no socks.. I hadn’t had socks in like 3 weeks. just a lot of drugs and money. So needless to say.. my feet stunk to high hell.. so I was like..

Bro.. You don’t want me to do that.. I mean really.. I don’t have anything in there, trust me..
There’s a different kind of bomb in these shoes..

His eyes get big, as I try to make a joke.. the two soldiers who have to witness bear aim…

I quip, It was a joke felahs, sheesh…

I know you’ve all seen Meet the parents…

Any who, I take off my shoes as the guy approaches me to check the shoes..

He makes it about 3 feet.. and I just smile wide..

He backs quickly.. ‘Ok. Yeah… Umm.. put those back on…’ the soldiers make faces.. and I just laugh.. ‘I tried to tell you’…

So I get my bag back.. and get out of there with 15 minutes to get on the plane..
I crawl into my window seat and doze off on my flight…thank god… escaped from one dream to another… vial intact.

Rawk on.

03/14/2004

Posted on 03/14/2004
Copyright © 2024 Aaron Howard

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