stretched by Richard TrotterThe scorches from one gaze,
stinging flesh pulled like a cord,
the crumbling rope bridge of days
seconds of blue magic stored,
its lack of substance betrays
imagined freedom so flawed. 03/10/2004 Author's Note: I know this is not very good, and when I read it back it feels like a string of unconnected images, but i posted it out of boredom.
Posted on 03/10/2004 Copyright © 2025 Richard Trotter
Member Comments on this Poem |
Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 03/10/04 at 10:27 AM well, for a "stretch", i think it is quite good... i find the images inviting and thought provoking... blessings... |
Posted by Stephanie Kent on 03/10/04 at 10:00 PM One can feel the words themselves burning... |
Posted by Trisha De Gracia on 04/22/04 at 11:29 PM The rhyme scheme (if you were going for one) is off with "flawed" at the end. That was just my impression. It sounds like you're playing with the imagry, concocting, and I like that. Nice. |
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