death's colors unfold in waves
beckons me to sleep then
turns away again.

and i promised and i promised and i
promised but i can't stay

even though

i still can't go.

he speaks to me, tells me things
always telling me things and i believe him
because my heart is afraid to sleep alone
and nothing that falls from the sky
will still the silence of forced calmness.

and when your words fall in my lap and when
your words fall into my lap i am crushed, love
it's the small things. that count. the small
things. and he is so small and i am so small

and god is listening somewhere but has he
forgotten it all; everything i said. everything
i just couldn't. every time i looked away.
and
every time i wouldn't.

say my name again. i've forgotten how to form
the words in my mouth, clogged with memory and
the taste of false hopes.

where are you sunshine. did you drown again.
find myself

fumbling. find you watching
carefully. how to articulate what i'm feeling

when i'm feeling too much at once. when i'm feeli...
nothing
at all.

and when you look at me like that and when you
look at me like that and when you...
oh god where have i gone. i cannot touch this

dirty dirty dirty and i am crushed
i amc rushed iamcrushed
every time
i fall into your lap.

kiss me quick.
i am dying here.

03/04/2004

Posted on 03/05/2004
Copyright © 2024 Olivia Weinkein