This was not the first time for me

Training and training and training

And purpose limited my thoughts

To survival first

Accomplishment second

Seven

And I knew it had counted

Cause by his twisting fall

I knew he would not rise

Another whistled close to me

Its popping collision with something besides my flesh

Surprise gripped me

Another uncounted antagonist

Eight, nine

As I covered my movement

By forcing heads down

The angle of the whistle and pop

Telling me a new direction

I moved laterally

Hoping my unexpected angle

would present me with a target

and it did

ten hit one

but not fatal

eleven hit again

disabled, now a minor consideration

my side bruised

sore

the first shot hit me

the shooter not experienced

aimed for body mass

and got body armor instead

and lead, my first shot

and company

and I began counting

you can’t imagine the comradary

of men united in purpose

to die for

five of us

retrieving a package

a clerk

for the cartel

surprised by conscience

wanting to tell her story

to staunch a hemorrhage of death and drugs

I wanted, desperately,

To retrieve this package

As did we all

The package most of all

Survival

Twelve and thirteen

Dropped the sentinels by the door

Unknown to them

My exit

And we were leaving

Five men and a woman

I had wet my pants

It was not the first time

No one laughed, no shame here

We smiled at one another

An interesting ceremony took place

Each man wrote on a piece of paper

In front of him

The number of bullets he had left

and piled his remaining ammo to prove his count

No penalty but embarrassment

If the number turned out to be wrong

Counting bullets meant life

Of all the fire fights I was ever in

I always knew how many bullets

I had left in my fist

Think of me

When you see the passionate

Speaking

But not making their words count

Saying things that others cannot hear

What stops you

From being able to listen, in peace

Until others reveal the issue of their heart

Because only then can you make your words count

Be embarrassed not to count your words like bullets

Make them count

02/25/2004