I pulled over from the
midnight road and taught
myself to breathe which
becomes quite a task once
you have forgotten.
the air was lined with icicles
yet I rolled down my windows
and allowed it to bite and scratch
my face, it was the least I could do,
I needed to be reminded that I was alive.

I watched you walk away
in the mirror
your body slowly dissipating
into the sidewalk as it
became smaller and smaller
until a street lamp obstructed
my view and then you were gone

it was easier to say goodbye to
your memory.

(I couldn't even choke the words
out to you)

actually I wanted to scream and
shout and maul my fists against
your mangled shadow, begging
you not to leave me.

you’d smile, call me cute or sweet
and maybe pat me on the head,
a gesture of friendship but I
cannot help but think we were
never friends despite everything
I did to make you laugh

but I never had to stop you from
leaving, because really, you
never left.

it was my back you had become
accustom to when all you could
do was smile at the stars

and all
I could do to keep from crying
was wish upon them.

02/24/2004

Posted on 02/25/2004
Copyright © 2026 Lauren Pearl