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Abysmal Craziness and Divine Shenanigans

by Max Bouillet

“Oh, me? I’m between Gods right now. Thanks for asking.”
--Typical response to people who come to my door and ask me about God.


God is coming tomorrow.

I heard that yesterday.

ItÂ’s almost midnight and
IÂ’m still waiting.

Becoming anxious and impatient,
I go to look for Him
only to find Him in the mirror
looking potbellied
with a cigarette
dangling between two
chapped lips.

I think He sensed my
disappointment, because He said,

“Who did you expect? Quit
whining! Nobody wants
to listen to you bitch and moan.
Take care of yourself and
leave me alone!”

ThatÂ’s the day I discovered
that I wasnÂ’t really a poet
and just needed thorazine.

But when my medical insurance
refused to cover pharmaceuticals,

I once again became a scream
in this infinite darkness
of bustling binary code
that craves God
and refuses to forget myself
amidst advertisements for
lower mortgage rates,
mail order viagra,
and new diet fads.

Diet fads?

I will eat me Gods.
They shall be my sustenance
and I will have Holy Shits
upon digestion.

It doesnÂ’t make any difference though,
because recently,

I heard that God was dead.

I had no idea!
I didnÂ’t even know He was sick.
Then I heard it might have been foul play.
I was aghast! He seemed like such a nice God.
Lived in a nice neighborhood,
pillar of the community, but
I did hear that His Son went slumming
once in a while. And we all know
once you start hanging with
those unsavory types,
youÂ’re just askinÂ’ to be nailed to a cross.

02/15/2004

Posted on 02/15/2004
Copyright © 2024 Max Bouillet

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Scott Cadence on 02/15/04 at 04:38 PM

the word play is brilliant. You dare us to go beyond our usual bounds to welcome the new. I enjoy this freedom. wonderful, once again... :)

Posted by Michele Schottelkorb on 02/15/04 at 06:17 PM

oh my gods... the wait was more than worth it... (side note, as i read, i had to read out loud and my husband said to tell you he is very upset, he didn't realize god was dead either... :)...)... in impeccable form, you blaze into words thoughts that race through similar minds... how you find the way to express them so perfectly blows my mind, but i like my mind to be blown... superb and excellent piece of writing formulated in truth and wit... thank the dead god your back... blessings...

Posted by Karl Waldbauer on 02/17/04 at 01:43 PM

"I'm between Gods right now. Thanks for asking" will be my new answer to those people at my door! Sometimes, Max, I think you channel the spirit of Dorothy Parker before you give the old girl your own unique spin. Excellent and thoroughly enjoyable.

Posted by Ashok Sharda on 02/17/04 at 02:27 PM

'Take care of yourself and leave me alone!” Thats a beautiful msg. he sent us, through the good offices of Messiah Bouillet. Unfortunately he dies. Died in the hands of the creater.

Posted by Graeme Fielden on 02/17/04 at 03:54 PM

Biblical sources advise that HE did make us in his image...God help us!...Holy work Brother Bouillet - I see the light!

Posted by Amanda J Cobb on 02/18/04 at 03:55 AM

Ah, Max, great to see you back...so many things I like about this. Certain images, the biting humor (best kind, in my opinion), the idea behind it all. A very-well done piece. I laughed, I grinned, I nodded.

Posted by Christina Bruno on 02/18/04 at 05:52 AM

yay max your back...this is awesome

Posted by Mara Meade on 02/19/04 at 08:07 PM

I'll bet even the gods are giggling that you whipped off the veil... great one, as always... and welcome back!

Posted by Quinlan L Gibson on 02/19/04 at 11:20 PM

i thought i'd never get to the end of the comments on this brilliant piece! You've created a masterpiece Max.

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