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E. Beloved

by Christel Crews

Humming to myself, I began the journey home
Another day done, the sun set on my sorrow
Only to rise again through my tears
The pain never ceased

I checked my phone and I had a message
Praying it wouldn't be from one person
Holding my breath in hope of it being from another
It was neither

The voice on the line was clear
His message simple but in my pain
I rolled my eyes and hung up
"I love you" is all he had said

I made it home, exhausted and beat
trudging up the one-too-many steps to my apartment
I saw a note taped to my door
Again I prayed it wasn't from one person
And I hoped to see another certain name
But it was neither

The handwriting was small but clearly printed
Written with care to not be misunderstood
I huffed in frustration and put it in my pocket
"I love you" was all it read

To my computer and get online
Its my normal postwork routine-I clicked on the TV
The hollow noise of re-runs rang in my ears
But anything was better than silence

Lights out, in bed
The darkness seemed to penetrate my skin
My mind wandered and I realized something
not too grand, but not too simple

I picked up my phone, glancing at the clock
I didn't care, I had to hear his voice
He was never asleep, no matter how late
"Hello? It's me"
"Oh I'm so glad you called!

Have I told you how much I love you today?
Did you enjoy the rain this morning?
I sent it just to make you smile.
And the sun played hide-and-seek with you
on your way to work.
Did you catch the sky as the sun set?
I painted it with your favorite hews.
Tonight is such a clear night,
Did you see the stars dancing just for you?
Oh, I love you so much"

I sat still while he spoke
and with every sound of his voice, peace filled my spirit.
My trembling voice responded,

"I've been thinking tonight, I couldn't sleep.
Why did I shut you out?
Lover's have come and gone
leaving me in torment and pain but
you have remained constant all my life.
Why have I let the wounds from sinful men
Turn me away from you- you're faultless and true.
I'm so sorry.
I miss you."

There was a moment of silence that night on the phone
"I'm so glad you called."
His voice was full of grace.
"You are my Beloved"

I responded
"And you are mine"

02/04/2004

Author's Note: here's another entry to this little series... i thought it should be posted near the holiday that i will call "national single's awareness day (feb. 14th). if you're feeling down, read song of songs - God loves you like no other

Posted on 02/13/2004
Copyright © 2024 Christel Crews

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