Currently 3 am
Sleep is not satisfactory
I push myself up
Light a smoke

Its 3am and my inner monologue kicks in.
An evaluation on my current life
Living out of my planner to keep my days straight
Thinking about what I have been eating lately
(Nothing that good for me)
I feel down my body
These curves….
Where did they come from?
When did I start getting older?
This ageing processes is turning out to be quite interesting
It sneaks up on you
Tapping my ask into an old pop can I climb out of bed

I lean against the cold window
I strain into the night looking for any signs that winter has ended,
Yet snow still covers in splotchy melting patterns
The streets below are now barren
A stray cat scurries across the vacant street
That feeling of survival
I know it well
Trying just to make it threw all the gunk of life
Waiting for something better
My greatest fear is that life will be unsatisfying
Dry, dead, monotonous…

The orange street light glows
Florescent store signs dark and uninviting

Darkness
But not that depressed sadistic darkness
Just a day resting

Was it late night?
Early morning?
It really depended on my mood.

I drop the cigarette into the pop can
Swirl around the remaining cola to put out the embers
He lies there
Resting
Curly hair wild from the restless dreaming

I smile
Climbing into bed I am satisfied with this chapter of my life.
I drift back to sleep unaware of his eyes opening.

02/12/2004

Author's Note: So I am trying something new here....

Posted on 02/12/2004
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