i miss the days we'd stand or sit behind the front coun
ter without a word and i would catch you glancing at me
or you would catch me glancing at you and we'd laugh wh
en the bosses yelled and told us to stand up and get ba
ck to work.  i miss watching Fraggle Rock on the laptop
that i shouldn't have had with me and we'd make the coo
k make us a huge plate of nachos, i dropped a pepper in
my lap and you laughed and i stared blankly at the lapt
op screen missing the joke, the physical comedy that yo
u were so fond of.  i wonder now if i hadn't been const
antly making a fool of myself and tripping over my feet
and into walls when you were around if you would have b
een so friendly or open or apparently attracted or if y
ou just enjoyed laughing at the boy with no shame in hu
miliating himself in front of the girl for whom he'd fa
llen head-over-heels.  perhaps it was the loneliness co
ming to a peak over my nineteen years or perhaps you re
ally were that amazingly intelligent and attractive ind
ividual that to this day consumes my thoughts and my dr
eams as if you aren't willing to let me escape.  what c
an i do but be afraid?  how can i be but silent?  i hav
en't been able to trust another since and that probably
won't be changing any time soon.  if i could bring myse
lf to lay it all out on the line again, i would and wit
hout hesitation but i have a hard enough time waking up
in the morning from a world where i can be with you uni
nterrupted for countless eternitites where i fear nothi
ng.  so i spend my nights staring at my ceiling until s
leep finally takes me.  my overactive mind keeps me fro
m going to the one place where i am truly free and i re
alize that i was never really an insomniac before i met
you.

01/30/2004

Author's Note: Eh... that's better.

This topic is still from Brie Rydberg in the Topic thread.

Posted on 01/30/2004
Copyright © 2024 Jason Wardell