insecurity is a cruel emotion

uncertain
of my worth at times
too many times

how can the optimism emerge
when wrapped in
shrouds of negativity?
although
occasionally she appears
screaming out with passion
that I am better than this,
more full of life and wonder
than I give myself credit for
I can rise above!

yet it seems to be muffled
by the voice of desolation
speaking in myriad shades of black
asking always:
What's the point, the use, of trying?
knowing, b e l i e v i n g, that i am worthless
this is all and all is failure

still the optimistic light glitters,
she stands quietly staring
no screaming now
only steady, heartfelt
determination

to emerge,
to overcome,
to remain
I

01/21/2004