There is a hole in my chest,
and through it
The world turns in apathy.

I looked at your face and I saw
your eyes twitch;
the iris expanding to a void.
I fell into you, splashing
black oil, crude and stretching.
I forced apart the fence
that we built,
to run from the world.

I saw your eyes open and devour me-
they flared with content.
From your leave
you heard my voice sing you a song
but the words blurred into melody,
and you smiled naively.

You weren't listening.

My eyes churned with insomnia,
And my nerves pulled in revolt
to the tyranny of their restraint,
and mockery of their blithe.

My skin flicked open and flapped
against the belt that taut it,
and muscle jolted with fury at
The Holy Word that marked its fate.

You invaded my thoughts and
with such clarity and stain
I trained the knife to my heart
I stabbed into my veins

and I remember the cold,
soothing release as
all made way for Death-
and I saw your eyes-
flaring with content,
as I fell to the floor with a dumb,
blank smile cut across my face.
My eyes flared with content.
I finally found God.

12/30/2003

Author's Note: Glorious self betrayal. I hate to use the term (descriptively as well as conceptually), but some license was taken on the word "taut". It just makes for such a good verb. This is a very old piece; a bit more narrative than I like these days.

Posted on 12/30/2003
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