Strangers in a strange land... that’s about how I could describe it.. Living alone in a strange world...

A world I thought I used to know... a world of honesty...
but now... now it's just all lies... Lies, I tell you...
You're living a lie... but I'm sure you already knew that.
I hope.
I hope in lies... I dream in lies... these things that I tell myself everyday…

Just to be optimistic.

Maybe lies are good.. Maybe..
they help you forget the past..
Here in lies..
to your grave.. you take honesty..
to your life, you bear travesty..

to all this.. I shudder to think of honesty..

and yet...

I can be honest with myself.
Over all this.. Over this nightmare of middle age nothingness..
Over this planet.. brimming over it's cup of jealous rage...

Over the lies.
Over the honesty..
Walking the fine line between sanity and Christianity..

I knew once.. all the answers.. boiled down in a Childs brain..
but now..? now it's just confusion.

The heart of a poet.. the mind of a lunatic
The failing mental health that’s making me sick...

Dealt with the party demons and the straight edge crack-heads
and all the girls who slept in so many of my beds..

Dealt with self doubt and the betrayal of family and friends..
and wondering how long this until it all finally ends..

All these lies.. petty and forgotten.. all the memories, some ripe, some rotten..
and you look around to what goes around comes around has gotten..

12/15/2003