it is when starvation kicks in
that i miss you the most.
(and you are
right next to me or you are behind me
but) you are never in front of me
and i am finding it harder to bend
that way.
the air is eating away all of my more
appropriate words as your absense eats
away the pounds. am i pretty now.
do you
want
to
love
me.
and this isn't about proving whose
murder was the best, whose regret is more
consuming, whose world is now better sketched
than the others. this is only about
second-guesses and the way 'could have beens'
can get under your skin when you're not
looking. the way they can begin to itch until
you're left with only two ways to be rid of
them. sweat them out, or bleed.
and i chose to sweat.

look,

i don't want you to come back to haunt me.
i am fine with your memory leaving me
for another. i am fine.
i only want you to recognize me one last time
with your eyes closed before i am too far gone
to ever be familiar again when you
decide to open them.

12/12/2003

Posted on 12/12/2003
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