If I hadn't made you look away first,
would you still be here?
Where would we be if it weren't for my foolish pride?
Life was too hard
too complicated
and too messed up
to bring you into it.
You were innocent
and beautiful
and perfect.
You were the epitome of what a guy should be.
And you were mine,
though I didn't know it.
You'd tell me about this girl
and how wonderful she was
even though she didn't see it,
and didn't believe it when you told her.
You told me how she fought you with all she had,
and you knew it was because she'd been hurt,
something you'd never do.
You told me how she lit up your world,
made you see things you'd never known before,
made you feel things you'd never felt.
I told you that if she was fighting you so hard
then she wasn't worth your time.
That if she couldn't see how wonderful you were,
and consider herself lucky to have you
then she didn't deserve you.
I told you to walk away before you got hurt.
The next thing I knew
you were gone,
and I realized then,
a moment too late
what I'd said.
My pride got in my way
I drove you away from me,
because I wanted to believe that I didn't need anyone.
I made you look away
because I didn' want you to see me.
And I still wonder what it would have been like.

12/01/2003

Author's Note: The person and sitution that this is about, will know what it means, and anyone who really knows this part of my life will get it, if you don't get it and want to, ask, but don't ask if you don't want to know the whole truth.

Posted on 12/02/2003
Copyright © 2024 Amy Niggel