The trigger was pulled,
two lives ended,
more would follow because of it
before the year was up.
He lay bleeding,
head in my lap,
gasping for breath.
The last words I heard
were "I love you"
I died then,
as I left him to die alone.
Days later
we would seek revenge,
drive by,
pull another trigger
and run.
As another's life fled him,
as another lay holding the one she loved,
watching him die.
Weeks later
They'd come looking for answers,
unable to find a gun,
they'd settle for a drug conviction.
And he never sold me out,
he went to jail,
to rot inside.
Months later
I'd get a call telling me that it couldn't be done,
that losing him had been too hard,
too damn hard.
He would kill himself that night,
wrists bleeding,
going to join his best friend in the beyond.
Years later
here I am
a few bullets,
a jail sentence,
a suicide later,
and all I can say is
"I got out alive"
How vain can I be?
How selfish?
So I lived,
who cares?
Thier pain is more than I could ever know,
and yet I speak of my pain
as though it were unbearable.
I still have my life.
A trigger was pulled
and the world fell apart.

11/03/2003

Posted on 11/03/2003
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