i heard someone say "you don't belong
here" and then there was a cough and
somebody sneezed and all else was
forgotten.
we didn't leave that time.
i had come to save the world or so i proclaimed
over loud music drowned out by even louder
voices, bottles of whiskey, bottles of
beer.
you had come for the opposite of silence. you
needed it you said and i slowly tapped my fingers
to the sound of an electric guitar crying into a
room filled with too much static electricity to
ever truly feel the vibrations of that enthusiastic
sadness. that sadness that somehow seeped into
my bones and assured me i would not be leaving
empty handed. if not for this, then what?
then what?
and you said the air had grown stale with cigarette
smoke and forced laughter as you lit up yet again
and handed me the lighter.
and there were rounds after rounds.
more rounds. they just kept coming.
so we were able to sit back, one less thing to
worry about. one less thing.
we could drink in peace. we could drink until
the act alone became all there was and the faces
around us became one hazy face, staring at us.
grinning.
until laughter was no longer forced, just something
we all did to keep from going insane, to keep from
punching the person next to us in the nose for
showing us how clumsy we looked, acted. Are.
until the sadness from that guitar seeped into the
bones of all of us and reminded us why it is
we are still alive. what it is we are still living for.

10/27/2003

Author's Note: umm..k.

Posted on 10/28/2003
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