The outer world
The world of other humans
And their things

Fades away

Into a remote heaviness
A dim unimportant place
I perceive with a strange realization

But I will think more about that later

What is the center of the world
Right now
Is the center of my belly

Spasm!

OK, just relax
Let it do what it will
Don't fight it

But OH!
My gut does not like
Whatever it is surrounding

Drink, drink my body tells me
I drink water until I can no more
And then sit down, dizzy

Rest, rest my body tells me
So I, helplessly, fall
So weak, into bed

I'm cold

My body is sending
Blood to my belly
My arms and legs don't need it

More covers, more clothes
Involuntarily I move
To obey this command from my body

Am I not my body?
This is a philosophical question for another time
Right now, just obey the body

Yes, I have enough energy
Just enough
To get to the toilet, often

The gut is long and large
It has many important places
I feel them all, again and again

Nothing else matters
Just rest, warmth, water, toilet
All appointments voided

I know I should worry about what won't get done
But I don't care
My body tells me what to do

I do it

Perhaps I should listen more often?

10/22/2003

Author's Note: It will either get better or it will get worse. Either way, it gets resolved.

Posted on 10/22/2003
Copyright © 2024 Ronald A Pavellas