the words of my soul long to escape
they hurl themselves against
the pearly white of my teeth
jaw clenched i swallow them down
so they scream in the pit of my stomach
and eventually bond together
rising up and rushing
into my throat
where they clog and
i fear i will suffocate
from the words,
these groups of letters,
the emotion they are charged with and
i know that i cannot set them free
they hide behind frozen smiles and
feigned cool confidence
so i swallow them down again
feeling their bitter taste
on my tounge and
i hide them in the darkest crevices
in my body where the words can live
and their screams can echo
through my broken heart and
bounce off the darkest corners of my brain
these screams that cannot be heard
slice like double-edged swords
cutting me open and
leaving me to bleed
for all the world to see and
they cut and slice at me
until i believe i may die
and so i say my goodbyes
but the wounds clot and still i live
in the shadows of the world
while my mind flies
in circles around me adding
to my inability to sleep
as the screaming continues
like nails on a chalkboard
and they eat away at me slowly
until there is nothing left
and i am hollow and alone
as the nothingness overtakes me
and my mind will finally stop
and i will become the same as all of you,
walking unthinking and
accepting without question
what i am told.

and it is then that i will really be dead.

10/21/2003

Posted on 10/22/2003
Copyright © 2024 Melinda Sordino