... And so it begins ...

The pseudo-physicians enter
playing housewife with my womb
vacuuming out the chrysalis.

And I know that you are
insignificant
a mere particle
of this noctilucent atmosphere
still I feel you

every inhale
every motion
every flutter

stroking my abdomen
in slow melodic maneuvers
you're so graceful
yet I submit
to earthly worries
of selfishness and greed
two traits you surely
have never acquired..

And they whisper "murderer! murderer!"
in my ear
paving a path of guilt
down my fragmented spine.
(..when they said she had no backbone,
surely they were refering to me..)
yet I remain unshackled,
no bars
no locks
and they place another pillow behind my head
making sure I am propped up enough
to gaze out a gray-paned window
at living,
breathing,
things.

Maybe they want me to suffer
for allowing four men wrapped in white linen
to come inside me
and scrape you out.

My eyes dart back and forth
from one aspect of this colorless
room, to the other side
making me feel
even emptier
more barren
less human.

I was drained
upon request.

I evacuated the breath
from your throat.
the excited fluttering
of a monarch
from my uterus.

I sink into my extra pillow
which feels much too cold
staring in pitiful lament
out the gray-paned window
of a room that is exceedingly hollow
out of this self-created,
white chambered prison
that I will never be able to escape.