right now
what i miss is the cocaine and the absolute honesty
that comes with it. you just can't lie yourself out of
nosebleeds these days. and i miss being drunk
every day. drinking myself to something i could live
with. i was stronger then when i wasn't so fucking sober.
because i'm constantly watching my back now to see
if anything is catching up with me. and my hands shake
a little too often. my mind
shakes a little too often.
sometimes, lateatnight
i like to pretend i'm better off.
but you and i both know better.
because regardless of whats good for you and what is not
i was more alive those days.
i was more alive.
these days, it's more like...

welcome to my grave.





someday,
i'm going to own me.

09/28/2003

Posted on 09/28/2003
Copyright © 2025 Olivia Weinkein