welcome, welcome

What can I do for you today

of course, of course

you want a little god today

well, you've come to the right place

now, did you want a god like you grew up with

or something totally different

if we don't have it in here

we have a shop out back

we can fabricate anything you want

what will it be

what will it be

What, oh no, no, no, no

don't pay attention to those old myths

god can be anything you want it to be

there's not one god

there's many paths to the same truth

we're all trying to get to the same place

aren't we

now, now, don't be shy

don't be shy

what do you want

what will you have

what, oh no, no, no, no

I told you before we make god in our own image

you can have a golden god

on a pedestal

or you can have a made up god

and it will say whatever you want it to say

but to think that there is only one real god

you must dismiss the notion

for it is both intolerant and odd

how could you know

which was the real god

stupid ignorant child

and what would give you confidence

after all, that you had the one real god

it would be easier for us all

if you would just pick one of these

here take this one for free

it's not like you expect god to really do anything for you

after all

do you?

you do

you expect something from god

you say you want god to do something for you

that you can't do yourself

foolish little person

only God could do that

Hmm, I'm beginning to see your point

so tell me

how will you know which is the real God

that is arguing in circles little grasshopper

you want God to do something for you

that you can't do on your own

you want proof

the only God you'll take

is the one that proves to be God

dear child, almost no one puts demands like that on God

What, what is that you want

how will God prove himself to you

you insignificant flea

well, that's absurd

why would anyone want to do that anyway

I admit loving your enemies may look attractive

in a naive sort of way

but no one can really do that anyway

I mean, not really love them

Oh

that's why it would be proof

yes I suppose that would be some proof

if God could change your heart

what, you are saying you want more proof,

what more could you possibly want

a clear standard of behavior

so you could know how to live

well, dear, that's why we have psychology

well of course psychology changes

we don't stay in the same outmoded morality forever

people change, times change, behavior changes

huh, you think God doesn't change

well that really is too much

you'll never find a clear standard of behavior

presented in a way that only a real God could do

that survives the march of time

and the vicissitudes of changing culture

God would have to come down here

and walk around

God would have to let us know He was coming

He'd have to write a freaking book

in such a way that man couldn't write

He'd have to foretell the future

He'd have to have the greatest expression of love

nope, nope

it'll never happen

no we don't have anything like that anywhere around here

if you ever find it let me know

and I'll change gods too

but right now how about leaving my store

sheesh, I'm glad that twerp is gone

he thinks that there is some real God out there

who has an actual identity

he just doesn't get it

we make god in our image

we couldn't possibly conform ourselves

to God anyway