the leaves tell me i need some sleep.
what monster have we created. he's
somewhere kicking inside of me. i don't
intend on letting him out. i'm not much
of a dancer, ya know.

and i know some people who live on the
top of a hill. they're so lucky, they never
have to worry about drowning but
enough about them.

i'm passed all of that already.

sometimes you are a ten year old boy.
i laugh at the way you say my name. but
i never much liked being a pedophile, little one
so grow up fast, faster than me.
and i'm tossing and turning once again.

sleep will not kill all of these uncomfortable
moments to come. did you ask it to, because
i forgot. so when my hands accidently find
themselves near the heat of your thigh, blame
it on the rain. and i don't mean lipsync it either.

i am most real when i am playing fake. someday
you will understand what it is i just meant to say. words
confuse me when they don't play fair. but i confuse
them too every time i write more crap about you.
they don't know whose side their on. and honestly,
most nights, i don't know whose side i'm on either.

that should make you happy. it's the closest i will
ever get to some kind of sorry. but i didn't mean it.
i didn't mean it. but i did. i do. i mean i will. someday.
i'm letting the words carry themselves away now.
no need to thank me. i know all of this already.

09/17/2003

Posted on 09/18/2003
Copyright © 2024 Olivia Weinkein