It's been a long time since I wanted
Someone to really know who I am,
And how I think, if I've ever
Had any sort of desire for that
At all.

I think I've liked the idea of being
Mysterious and enigmatic and
Other myriad long words that can
Be used to describe someone who is
"Interesting to know"...but now I find
I merely want you to know who I
Really am behind the quietness and
The inconsequential things I talk about
To keep most people at a distance.

There really is nothing I want to
Hide from you, because I want you
To know all my faults, since
They are parts of me, even though
I wish they were not there.

This is why all the shards of my thoughts
Have been landing under your feet.
I want you to see me at my worst,
My most selfishly introspective, self loathing
Side that thankfully is rather
Rarely seen these days, but remains
A part of who I am: this rather odd being
Built around a heart that belongs to you.

I doubt you want to know all the
Crystal facets of the frail snowflake
That burns defiantly inside of me...
But I will still show you, and leave
What you choose to see up to you.

Perhaps someday you will even
Want me to know you.
In case you ever do, here I am
With eyes that have somehow
Remained open to you even though
I have stopped seeing everything else.
It could just be that all seems dull
And lacklustre beside your vibrance
That makes me glow as a mirror.

One day, when I grow to be almost
Worthy of the knowledge, maybe you
Will let me see the source of the colours
That make up the spectrum of your soul
That has somehow never ceased to dazzle me.

For now, I just sit in this corner
And gaze hopefully at you, as I throw
These words like rose petals before your feet,
Unworthy but the closest to beauty
I can find in me that might
Approach that with which you
Unwittingly captured my heart.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand…
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

09/08/2003

Author's Note: Lines in italics are borrowed from 'Iris' by the Goo Goo Dolls. Used because my own words can only say so much.

Posted on 09/08/2003
Copyright © 2024 Richard Vince